Heroes & Perspective in Facing Life's Trials

Recently, I had a "cancer scare." The reason it's called a "cancer scare" is because you are given reason to believe that you may be facing the prospect of a battle with cancer in the foreseeable future, and given that it is often a battle for your very life, it can be quite scary. In fact, when you have a "cancer scare," there is an aspect of living with cancer (whether you have it or not) as you await the final word on the diagnosis, because if cancer is confirmed, it will turn your life upside down, and you know this going into the waiting period for that diagnosis or that reprieve, depending on the situation. If you are proactive, you start working at getting those things that you can in order - just in case - because you know you might not be able to do them later. It's stressful, if nothing else. There are a lot of things I could write about my experience in potentially facing the cancer demon, but the thing that came to mind today was just the fact that a sense of normalcy is settling back into my life now.

I was told going into surgery, just about a month ago, that I had a "really big ugly mass" inside of me, among other things. Going into surgery, I knew I could awaken being the last to know whether or not I had cancer. The only thing I had going for me going into surgery was the fact that blood tests for four tumor markers had come back within normal limits, or negative for cancer, but that still didn't mean that I didn't have cancer. I was fortunate. Despite the fact that my inner anatomy was pretty messed up by not one, but TWO (!) big ugly masses (the one we knew about and its hidden evil twin), as well as other mutant abnormalities, I came out of surgery WITHOUT a diagnosis of cancer.

My recovery has been amazing in some ways, and the peace I had going into surgery, which I believe came from my faith in God to be with me, regardless of the diagnosis, was nothing short of awesome too. That is not to say that I didn't have apprehensions; I think it is entirely normal to go into surgery with some apprehensions - especially after the pre-surgical counseling where the surgeon tells you everything that could go wrong (even up to & including death during surgery). But going into surgery, I knew it was out of my hands. There was nothing I could do to alter the situation. So, I turned to scripture and prayed for my surgical team. Overall, I felt oddly at peace with the situation. My prayers were answered this time. I am thankful.

I have had a little extra time as a result of being forced to take it easy while I recover from my surgery. Now that I am able to sit at the computer a little longer (up till now, it tended to make me hurt more than anything else), I have had the opportunity to read a few blogs I was previously unfamiliar with. There are people whose prayers were not answered in the way that mine were. They got the unfavorable diagnosis; they faced the specter of death. One family faced death, and is now taking things a day at a time with a glorious sense of peace, attributed to the graciousness of the Lord. Another faced death and came through the fiery trial that cheated death but did so with many scars & much pain. These folks are heroes in my mind, and as far as I can tell in the recent brief introduction I have had to them through their writing about their experiences, those experiences have not made them bitter. That is a blessing and a gift in itself.

Comparatively, my recent trial was nothing, and the few scars I have as reminders are either hidden or too small to be noticed. That doesn't mean that what I went through was completely insignificant in my life, but it does offer some perspective, and it makes me think of all of the people who have so much going for them, and yet they cannot appreciate the blessings in their own lives. I know some of these people. They are so overwhelmed by things (trials that, for them, perhaps are not insignificant), but they lack the ability to see beyond the things that are so consuming to them now to recognize how much they have going for them, and to be thankful for what they DO have. I have always tried to be cognizant of the blessings in my life, especially in recent years, and to make a conscious effort to express thankfulness for those blessings. In light of my recent cancer scare, I think I am even more thankful, and there are things I consciously enjoy more. Maybe I am a happier person, overall; I don't know if that is true, but I feel happier most of the time. It really is a gift, a blessing.

But some of the folks who have really been through the Refiner's fiery trials, who have managed to still convey peace and joy in their forever altered lives, these folks are the heroes, and we can learn a lot from them by how they have coped with the losses associated with their trials. Most people will not experience trials of the scope the people I am thinking of have experienced. Whatever the trials though, I believe it is easier to bear them if you have a belief in God and know that Jesus is right there with you in the midst of the trials. I don't know how people who do not have this faith get through similar trials. It's got to be a lot harder. In any case, I am thankful, and I am inspired by the grace I have vicariously observed in the way the people I have referred to previously, in this post, have exhibited in coping with their own trials. Who are these remarkable individuals? The Sullivans and nienie. May God bless and keep them as they continue to fight the good fight.