Savoring Dinner

It's been a while since I've logged in and written anything! I am surprised at how long it has been, in fact. I made a really delicious dinner for the family tonight. It was so good that I felt compelled to write about it. It wasn't anything particularly fancy, just good, wholesome, healthy, satisfying food that didn't taste like health food, even though that is really what it was. I made Italian Sausage & Lentil Soup, homemade bread with ground flax seed added to boost the nutrition factor (you don't even taste a difference in the bread even though you can see the flax seed interspersed throughout the loaves), and Greek Panzanella, a recipe from Ina Garten, of the Food Network's "Barefoot Contessa" program. Greek Panzanella is basically a salad with homemade croutons and cheese in it. The recipe calls for French bread, but I used sourdough bread, and it was delicious. I have made this recipe twice since Saturday, and my family gobbles it up. All in all, tonight's dinner was a delicious meal for a cold winter's night, and it was especially appreciated by my youngest son who returned home late from a class this evening suffering with a bad cold - comfort food.

EDIT: After writing this, I went back and looked at panzanella recipes, at The Food Network. I think Ina Garten's Greek Panzanella is going to be the only panzanella recipe I need. Good stuff!

Today I'm Thankful...

Today I'm thankful for coffee....not just in the usual wake up, enjoy the aroma, and savor the liquid bliss of waking up to fresh-brewed coffee kind of thankfulness, but thankfulness in that there was ANY coffee to wake up to by enjoying the aroma and savoring any sort of semblance of liquid coffee bliss sort of way.

Yep. I was all set to start a pot of coffee this morning and discovered we had NO coffee in reserve. There was one tablespoon of high octane Starbucks coffee left in one bag, and a few more tablespoons of decaf in another, but we had NONE in reserve as we usually do. I looked in the pantry. I looked through the pantry overflow in the basement. None. Then I remembered the Dunkin' Donuts coffee I had bought a while back that I thought was "okay" but not as satisfying as the Starbucks I have found an affinity for....

I had to do some serious rooting through the freezer, but I found the bag of bold, dark, high octane coffee I had stashed there a few months ago. It didn't smell bad, but it didn't have that aromatic freshness that comes from a new bag of Starbucks. I made the coffee, then went to inform the hubster that I had good news and bad news. The good news was the fact that there was any coffee whatsoever to be had, and particularly of the high octane variety. The bad news was that I couldn't attest to the quality of said coffee. I am pleased to report that the coffee was acceptable, maybe even good, though not of the order we are accustomed to. The fact that it was acceptable to good, flavor-wise, is a bonus. Today, I'm just thankful for ANY coffee at all. It makes waking up any morning more pleasant, but especially so on a cold winter morning. Yes, today I'm thankful for coffee. Thank God for small favors.

On Decking the Halls

Since Thanksgiving weekend, I have been on a mission to deck my halls for the Christmas season which is now in full swing. I really would prefer to put up my Christmas tree the weekend after Thanksgiving because Thanksgiving is a busy holiday unto itself, and as a purist, I don't like to let Christmas infringe on my Thanksgiving holiday. I really believe it is important to let Thanksgiving be Thanksgiving, and only Thanksgiving, because it is so important, to me, that the day of thankfulness and harvest blessings be honored on its own merits with the emphasis on expressions of thankfulness to our Creator, as well as in remembrance of the pilgrims who held the first Thanksgiving feast with the Indians who helped them survive that brutal first year, here, in the new land. I like the Christmas season too, but I don't like the commercial aspect of the Christmas holiday with it's encroachment on Thanksgiving nowadays.

I can remember when stores were closed on Thanksgiving, then the push for marketing Black Friday became the norm, and eventually some stores opted to be open on the Thanksgiving holiday, itself, with promises of fantastic deals to entice people away from their Thanksgiving celebrations in order to buy the perfect Christmas gifts at unheard of prices. Granted, merchants couldn't do this without the cooperation of the consumer, and in all reality, the diminished significance of the place for Thanksgiving in the hearts and homes of Americans, today, while the push to start the Christmas spending frenzy as soon as possible, really speaks to the values of the nation and shows what is important to its people. I can't help but think of the following scripture: "for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." [Matthew 6:21] We give our attention to those things which are most important and valued by us.

But getting back to the matter of decking the halls in anticipation of the Christmas celebration, because of my conviction that Thanksgiving should be honored as a standalone holiday, I do not even begin to put away the harvest, autumn, and Thanksgiving decorations until after Thanksgiving. However, at the behest of my children, I do so immediately after Thanksgiving! They would have the tree up on Black Friday, if they had a choice, and we try, but it doesn't always work out. The Christmas tree is usually up Thanksgiving weekend though. Other decorations follow, in the process of decking the halls, in the remaining weeks leading up to Christmas. It is a challenge because in addition to all of the usual things I feel like I barely have time to do in a given day or week, I am embarking on a major temporary redecorating project that has to be squeezed into the schedule of routine things that must be done, and all of the chaos associated with hauling out decorations only adds to the routine upkeep of the home and inhibits the usual process, which I already mentioned I find difficult to keep up with in an ordinary day or week. I was thinking about this last night, and I came to the conclusion that there is a certain insanity to this. This year I've been seriously considering multiplying the insanity by putting up a second Christmas tree, however. We used to do this a few years back, but we haven't done so in about 4 years. I'm thinking I'd like to have the second tree this year though.

This year, for the first time in a number of years, we actually put colored lights on our main large Christmas tree. It just seemed like it was time. I really like the clear lights too, and they do such a nice job of illuminating your ornaments at night, but we missed the colored lights. I think we have a certain sense of nostalgia for the past when our kids were little, and we only used colored lights on our tree. I think our kids were feeling some of that same nostalgia for the paradise of their childhoods and the magic of Christmas. My oldest son has even been quite vocal about how Christmas is about colored lights. I made the mistake of asking what he thought about our Christmas trees over the last few years that were adorned with clear lights, and I was tersely informed that he essentially tolerated those Christmas trees, but they did not say, "Christmas," to him. Having put up a tree with colored lights though, I still found myself missing the clear lights on a Christmas tree. If all goes well, I will have a second tree with clear lights up by this afternoon. THEN I can see about getting all of the boxes of ornaments and tinsel that are occupying valuable real estate in my great room and dining room put back in the basement where they belong and focus on enjoying the rest of the Christmas season!

Heroes & Perspective in Facing Life's Trials

Recently, I had a "cancer scare." The reason it's called a "cancer scare" is because you are given reason to believe that you may be facing the prospect of a battle with cancer in the foreseeable future, and given that it is often a battle for your very life, it can be quite scary. In fact, when you have a "cancer scare," there is an aspect of living with cancer (whether you have it or not) as you await the final word on the diagnosis, because if cancer is confirmed, it will turn your life upside down, and you know this going into the waiting period for that diagnosis or that reprieve, depending on the situation. If you are proactive, you start working at getting those things that you can in order - just in case - because you know you might not be able to do them later. It's stressful, if nothing else. There are a lot of things I could write about my experience in potentially facing the cancer demon, but the thing that came to mind today was just the fact that a sense of normalcy is settling back into my life now.

I was told going into surgery, just about a month ago, that I had a "really big ugly mass" inside of me, among other things. Going into surgery, I knew I could awaken being the last to know whether or not I had cancer. The only thing I had going for me going into surgery was the fact that blood tests for four tumor markers had come back within normal limits, or negative for cancer, but that still didn't mean that I didn't have cancer. I was fortunate. Despite the fact that my inner anatomy was pretty messed up by not one, but TWO (!) big ugly masses (the one we knew about and its hidden evil twin), as well as other mutant abnormalities, I came out of surgery WITHOUT a diagnosis of cancer.

My recovery has been amazing in some ways, and the peace I had going into surgery, which I believe came from my faith in God to be with me, regardless of the diagnosis, was nothing short of awesome too. That is not to say that I didn't have apprehensions; I think it is entirely normal to go into surgery with some apprehensions - especially after the pre-surgical counseling where the surgeon tells you everything that could go wrong (even up to & including death during surgery). But going into surgery, I knew it was out of my hands. There was nothing I could do to alter the situation. So, I turned to scripture and prayed for my surgical team. Overall, I felt oddly at peace with the situation. My prayers were answered this time. I am thankful.

I have had a little extra time as a result of being forced to take it easy while I recover from my surgery. Now that I am able to sit at the computer a little longer (up till now, it tended to make me hurt more than anything else), I have had the opportunity to read a few blogs I was previously unfamiliar with. There are people whose prayers were not answered in the way that mine were. They got the unfavorable diagnosis; they faced the specter of death. One family faced death, and is now taking things a day at a time with a glorious sense of peace, attributed to the graciousness of the Lord. Another faced death and came through the fiery trial that cheated death but did so with many scars & much pain. These folks are heroes in my mind, and as far as I can tell in the recent brief introduction I have had to them through their writing about their experiences, those experiences have not made them bitter. That is a blessing and a gift in itself.

Comparatively, my recent trial was nothing, and the few scars I have as reminders are either hidden or too small to be noticed. That doesn't mean that what I went through was completely insignificant in my life, but it does offer some perspective, and it makes me think of all of the people who have so much going for them, and yet they cannot appreciate the blessings in their own lives. I know some of these people. They are so overwhelmed by things (trials that, for them, perhaps are not insignificant), but they lack the ability to see beyond the things that are so consuming to them now to recognize how much they have going for them, and to be thankful for what they DO have. I have always tried to be cognizant of the blessings in my life, especially in recent years, and to make a conscious effort to express thankfulness for those blessings. In light of my recent cancer scare, I think I am even more thankful, and there are things I consciously enjoy more. Maybe I am a happier person, overall; I don't know if that is true, but I feel happier most of the time. It really is a gift, a blessing.

But some of the folks who have really been through the Refiner's fiery trials, who have managed to still convey peace and joy in their forever altered lives, these folks are the heroes, and we can learn a lot from them by how they have coped with the losses associated with their trials. Most people will not experience trials of the scope the people I am thinking of have experienced. Whatever the trials though, I believe it is easier to bear them if you have a belief in God and know that Jesus is right there with you in the midst of the trials. I don't know how people who do not have this faith get through similar trials. It's got to be a lot harder. In any case, I am thankful, and I am inspired by the grace I have vicariously observed in the way the people I have referred to previously, in this post, have exhibited in coping with their own trials. Who are these remarkable individuals? The Sullivans and nienie. May God bless and keep them as they continue to fight the good fight.