I'm STILL working on getting my Christmas decorating done. It has proven to be a much slower process than expected, and truly, than it really ought to be. In the process of decking the halls, I have found interruptions hampering the completion of the task at hand come from the usual daily aspects of life, errands, night shifts, and even, at times, lethargy. It is coming along though.
I think I have procrastinated some in getting the job done because I knew that, this year, I was going to retire a big old cardboard box that has stored ornaments and a couple of other random Christmas decorations over the years. I really hate to to retire it (READ: trash it), but I didn't realize the extent of my attachment to that old box until this evening as I was taking out the ornament boxes that have so neatly fit inside that box while waiting patiently to be opened up each year in anticipation of so many Christmas celebrations. I transferred the individual ornament boxes into new clear plastic containers that would keep the contents more protected, but that box...that box was more than just a storage container for out of season ornaments. It was (is, for the moment) also a repository for memories.
It holds memories of its past life hearkening back to the days when we were pretty broke, and our Christmas decorations could fit into a single box that also happened to be shared with random household goods from our linen closet, back when it was originally commissioned into service. In the course of time and many military moves, the box eventually came to be an "ornaments only" box, and it's contents safely traveled with us to new homes in new places that would be transformed into "home" for the Christmas holidays we spent there, anchoring our past with the present through the bits and pieces of our lives and happy memories of Christmases past that the ornaments in the box symbolized. It has symbolized the growing up of our children and the passing of pets who were loved and so much a part of our family too.
Emptying out that box in anticipation of its retirement proved to be a more emotionally difficult thing for me to do than I had expected. It was difficult enough that I had to stop and take photos and write about it before I could break it down. That task still awaits. Retiring the box - breaking it down, and hauling it out to the garage to await the next trash collection day isn't just about retiring an old, but in some ways, perhaps still serviceable box. No. For me, it is closing a chapter in my life. The Christmas box that followed us around for my husband's whole military career, and was with us for each Christmas as our children grew and as some have left home, has been a sort of friend and fixture who was always there, faithful, maybe taken for granted at times. I'm going to miss that box and the part of my life that will, in a sense, go away with the box. The memories, however... the memories I get to keep.
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Like a Kid in a Toy Store
Yesterday was a day of much running around. If the two Target stores I visited were any indication, people are spending right now. The lines at the checkouts were especially long at the Target we stopped into about an hour before closing time, and it was next to impossible to find a person to help you in either electronics department as both were literally swamped.
I must confess, and I hate to do so, but I have not been in a Hallmark store for some time. It may have been as little as a year, or it could have been 2-3 years, but it's been a while. I can think of a couple of reasons for this: 1) I buy a lot of my greeting cards at either Target or Wal-Mart. My Christmas cards, even when I buy Hallmark cards, are often bought at Kohl's, on sale and with percentage-off coupons. 2) The Hallmark ornaments we buy usually come from Kohls and other stores that carry some of the Hallmark Keepsake product line too. 3) I just don't usually think to stop in to the Hallmark store.
Last night, we went into the local Hallmark store though. We were in search of a Santa ornament, for our oldest son, who really only likes Santa ornaments and more specifically, "Hallmark" Santa ornaments. I felt like a kid in a toy store! I got so excited about all of the different ornaments on display and finally announced to the hubster that I couldn't take any more cuteness, I needed to look at some of the other items in the store. The rest of the store was full of more Hallmark goodness and eye candy. The staff at our store was awesome too. They were friendly and made themselves available, in the event we needed assistance, but they didn't hover. It was a wonderful shopping experience. I probably would have stayed a little longer if we hadn't needed to stop at Target, it wasn't so close to closing time for the Hallmark store, and if staying wouldn't have inflicting more damage to our bank account. But I will be going back soon and I probably will buy more goodies.
I must confess, and I hate to do so, but I have not been in a Hallmark store for some time. It may have been as little as a year, or it could have been 2-3 years, but it's been a while. I can think of a couple of reasons for this: 1) I buy a lot of my greeting cards at either Target or Wal-Mart. My Christmas cards, even when I buy Hallmark cards, are often bought at Kohl's, on sale and with percentage-off coupons. 2) The Hallmark ornaments we buy usually come from Kohls and other stores that carry some of the Hallmark Keepsake product line too. 3) I just don't usually think to stop in to the Hallmark store.
Last night, we went into the local Hallmark store though. We were in search of a Santa ornament, for our oldest son, who really only likes Santa ornaments and more specifically, "Hallmark" Santa ornaments. I felt like a kid in a toy store! I got so excited about all of the different ornaments on display and finally announced to the hubster that I couldn't take any more cuteness, I needed to look at some of the other items in the store. The rest of the store was full of more Hallmark goodness and eye candy. The staff at our store was awesome too. They were friendly and made themselves available, in the event we needed assistance, but they didn't hover. It was a wonderful shopping experience. I probably would have stayed a little longer if we hadn't needed to stop at Target, it wasn't so close to closing time for the Hallmark store, and if staying wouldn't have inflicting more damage to our bank account. But I will be going back soon and I probably will buy more goodies.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Heroes & Perspective in Facing Life's Trials
Recently, I had a "cancer scare." The reason it's called a "cancer scare" is because you are given reason to believe that you may be facing the prospect of a battle with cancer in the foreseeable future, and given that it is often a battle for your very life, it can be quite scary. In fact, when you have a "cancer scare," there is an aspect of living with cancer (whether you have it or not) as you await the final word on the diagnosis, because if cancer is confirmed, it will turn your life upside down, and you know this going into the waiting period for that diagnosis or that reprieve, depending on the situation. If you are proactive, you start working at getting those things that you can in order - just in case - because you know you might not be able to do them later. It's stressful, if nothing else. There are a lot of things I could write about my experience in potentially facing the cancer demon, but the thing that came to mind today was just the fact that a sense of normalcy is settling back into my life now.
I was told going into surgery, just about a month ago, that I had a "really big ugly mass" inside of me, among other things. Going into surgery, I knew I could awaken being the last to know whether or not I had cancer. The only thing I had going for me going into surgery was the fact that blood tests for four tumor markers had come back within normal limits, or negative for cancer, but that still didn't mean that I didn't have cancer. I was fortunate. Despite the fact that my inner anatomy was pretty messed up by not one, but TWO (!) big ugly masses (the one we knew about and its hidden evil twin), as well as other mutant abnormalities, I came out of surgery WITHOUT a diagnosis of cancer.
My recovery has been amazing in some ways, and the peace I had going into surgery, which I believe came from my faith in God to be with me, regardless of the diagnosis, was nothing short of awesome too. That is not to say that I didn't have apprehensions; I think it is entirely normal to go into surgery with some apprehensions - especially after the pre-surgical counseling where the surgeon tells you everything that could go wrong (even up to & including death during surgery). But going into surgery, I knew it was out of my hands. There was nothing I could do to alter the situation. So, I turned to scripture and prayed for my surgical team. Overall, I felt oddly at peace with the situation. My prayers were answered this time. I am thankful.
I have had a little extra time as a result of being forced to take it easy while I recover from my surgery. Now that I am able to sit at the computer a little longer (up till now, it tended to make me hurt more than anything else), I have had the opportunity to read a few blogs I was previously unfamiliar with. There are people whose prayers were not answered in the way that mine were. They got the unfavorable diagnosis; they faced the specter of death. One family faced death, and is now taking things a day at a time with a glorious sense of peace, attributed to the graciousness of the Lord. Another faced death and came through the fiery trial that cheated death but did so with many scars & much pain. These folks are heroes in my mind, and as far as I can tell in the recent brief introduction I have had to them through their writing about their experiences, those experiences have not made them bitter. That is a blessing and a gift in itself.
Comparatively, my recent trial was nothing, and the few scars I have as reminders are either hidden or too small to be noticed. That doesn't mean that what I went through was completely insignificant in my life, but it does offer some perspective, and it makes me think of all of the people who have so much going for them, and yet they cannot appreciate the blessings in their own lives. I know some of these people. They are so overwhelmed by things (trials that, for them, perhaps are not insignificant), but they lack the ability to see beyond the things that are so consuming to them now to recognize how much they have going for them, and to be thankful for what they DO have. I have always tried to be cognizant of the blessings in my life, especially in recent years, and to make a conscious effort to express thankfulness for those blessings. In light of my recent cancer scare, I think I am even more thankful, and there are things I consciously enjoy more. Maybe I am a happier person, overall; I don't know if that is true, but I feel happier most of the time. It really is a gift, a blessing.
But some of the folks who have really been through the Refiner's fiery trials, who have managed to still convey peace and joy in their forever altered lives, these folks are the heroes, and we can learn a lot from them by how they have coped with the losses associated with their trials. Most people will not experience trials of the scope the people I am thinking of have experienced. Whatever the trials though, I believe it is easier to bear them if you have a belief in God and know that Jesus is right there with you in the midst of the trials. I don't know how people who do not have this faith get through similar trials. It's got to be a lot harder. In any case, I am thankful, and I am inspired by the grace I have vicariously observed in the way the people I have referred to previously, in this post, have exhibited in coping with their own trials. Who are these remarkable individuals? The Sullivans and nienie. May God bless and keep them as they continue to fight the good fight.
I was told going into surgery, just about a month ago, that I had a "really big ugly mass" inside of me, among other things. Going into surgery, I knew I could awaken being the last to know whether or not I had cancer. The only thing I had going for me going into surgery was the fact that blood tests for four tumor markers had come back within normal limits, or negative for cancer, but that still didn't mean that I didn't have cancer. I was fortunate. Despite the fact that my inner anatomy was pretty messed up by not one, but TWO (!) big ugly masses (the one we knew about and its hidden evil twin), as well as other mutant abnormalities, I came out of surgery WITHOUT a diagnosis of cancer.
My recovery has been amazing in some ways, and the peace I had going into surgery, which I believe came from my faith in God to be with me, regardless of the diagnosis, was nothing short of awesome too. That is not to say that I didn't have apprehensions; I think it is entirely normal to go into surgery with some apprehensions - especially after the pre-surgical counseling where the surgeon tells you everything that could go wrong (even up to & including death during surgery). But going into surgery, I knew it was out of my hands. There was nothing I could do to alter the situation. So, I turned to scripture and prayed for my surgical team. Overall, I felt oddly at peace with the situation. My prayers were answered this time. I am thankful.
I have had a little extra time as a result of being forced to take it easy while I recover from my surgery. Now that I am able to sit at the computer a little longer (up till now, it tended to make me hurt more than anything else), I have had the opportunity to read a few blogs I was previously unfamiliar with. There are people whose prayers were not answered in the way that mine were. They got the unfavorable diagnosis; they faced the specter of death. One family faced death, and is now taking things a day at a time with a glorious sense of peace, attributed to the graciousness of the Lord. Another faced death and came through the fiery trial that cheated death but did so with many scars & much pain. These folks are heroes in my mind, and as far as I can tell in the recent brief introduction I have had to them through their writing about their experiences, those experiences have not made them bitter. That is a blessing and a gift in itself.
Comparatively, my recent trial was nothing, and the few scars I have as reminders are either hidden or too small to be noticed. That doesn't mean that what I went through was completely insignificant in my life, but it does offer some perspective, and it makes me think of all of the people who have so much going for them, and yet they cannot appreciate the blessings in their own lives. I know some of these people. They are so overwhelmed by things (trials that, for them, perhaps are not insignificant), but they lack the ability to see beyond the things that are so consuming to them now to recognize how much they have going for them, and to be thankful for what they DO have. I have always tried to be cognizant of the blessings in my life, especially in recent years, and to make a conscious effort to express thankfulness for those blessings. In light of my recent cancer scare, I think I am even more thankful, and there are things I consciously enjoy more. Maybe I am a happier person, overall; I don't know if that is true, but I feel happier most of the time. It really is a gift, a blessing.
But some of the folks who have really been through the Refiner's fiery trials, who have managed to still convey peace and joy in their forever altered lives, these folks are the heroes, and we can learn a lot from them by how they have coped with the losses associated with their trials. Most people will not experience trials of the scope the people I am thinking of have experienced. Whatever the trials though, I believe it is easier to bear them if you have a belief in God and know that Jesus is right there with you in the midst of the trials. I don't know how people who do not have this faith get through similar trials. It's got to be a lot harder. In any case, I am thankful, and I am inspired by the grace I have vicariously observed in the way the people I have referred to previously, in this post, have exhibited in coping with their own trials. Who are these remarkable individuals? The Sullivans and nienie. May God bless and keep them as they continue to fight the good fight.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Crimson Hatbox
Lately, I've been wanting to blog about things that are on my mind. You know, the random thoughts that pop into your head, the things observed, appreciated, and experienced in the daily living of life, those are the things I have been wanting to write about. I haven't felt like I had the right outlet, but I am going to give this a try. It's a new day, a new season, and a time to try something new as well. I like to think that "The Crimson Hatbox" is kind of like a box you find tucked up on a shelf in the closet with bits of life's memories tucked inside, and a happy place to steal away for a bit and experience what's found inside the box.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
